Ugly Inside & Out

A Clusterfuck of Life.

I keep doing the same fucking thing. It's incredible. Seriously. I keep hurting the people I love by just being stupid bastard. I just don't have a degree in Human Relations - I get now. I mess things so much and right now I hate myself, I really do.

I don't know anymore what I should do, what I should say. I think this is the worst year of my existence. Forget everything else. I've been a stupid child, egocentric bitch and above everything else an awful friend. It's so bad and so sad. I've been only thinking of myself. I've been making a pity party for myself.  No one knows how much I despise myself right now. I really hate me for my stupidity.

I'll end up by losing a precious someone. And it's so fucking scary.

I WANT TO CHANGE. I WANT TO FUCKING CHANGE. I WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON. 

When did I became so ugly inside?